Dear Self.

I literally could NOT for the life of me figure out how to post this on my other blog.....I'm going to blame google tonight...

I was re-reading through some journal enteries that I wrote a few years ago.  I found them reinspiring and felt like sharing.  I don't necessarily know the exact things these thoughts were birthed from but I feel the overall theme is ever present.

6-23-10
Nod your head, don't worry young man you'll find your way, its never far, its never far away.  This isn't the first time, I swear it won't be the last you question your sanity.  Where are you going and are you proud to be from there.  I've shoved these hollow thoughts down for so long, they look brand new again.  Theirs only a few mistakes we'll want to make...everything else we will later consider successes.

---July - 10
It's been a while since I've been real with me.  Giving my time away always seems like the answer when your running away.  I went home just to see this final work carried through, now it's long gone.  Sleep well, the day will break before you get a chance to make it right, forget about the details I can't remember the last time it mattered anyway.  I swear it took my life time to get to where I'm at, yet its a silly thing how it looks a awful lot like where it all began.  Its no mystery that this world is failing me, yet everyday I see Heaven coming clear...

12-11
Sometimes we have to make choices that rip your heart out to save someone else that very same pain.  Sometimes you can't save someone in exchange for your own life, Sometimes....life isn't fair, although it does have a way of figuring itself out. In matters of love, I resolve we are all incredibly ignorant as good of intentions as we have.

crayons

God never ceases to amaze me.  There are times when I am so impressed with just how much attention God pays to even the most minute of details.  How He entertains the simplest of desires.  The other day I was trying to think of things I could do with my 2 1/2 year old son while his daddy was at work.  We recently relocated to a new state and thus very unfamiliar territory and very few people who we know.  With that being said you can understand why I'm not too eager to just venture out in the evenings totting my two children.  So the other day I decide that I need to get some colors for my son so that we can enjoy some time at the table in the evenings. 

As a family just starting out I've been trying to really watch our finances and not just rush out to buy anything and everything I think we may need.  Food = need Colors = can wait...so I rationalize that instead of rushing out to get colors I will wait til Ryan gets paid and we go to the store next.  The next day I was cleaning as the kids slept and I came across a coloring book that a employee at the grocery store had given Gabe.  I held on to it with the thought "Now I don't have to buy a coloring book once we get colors he can use this one!"  As the house remained silent I began to pray that the Lord would give me some creative ideas of things I could do with him when he got up.  That may seem silly but I'm simply not as good as Ryan is at making car, and explosion noises.  Nor am I able to morph into a lion at the drop of a hat. 

Once gabe woke up I decided that we would circle around a few houses in his little red wagon.  The house next to us sits on the corner and is empty.  No one has lived there since we moved here so we went through the connecting back yard and circled the side of the house that is closest to the street.  Laying right there on the ground was a box of brand new crayons just sprinkled in the grass.  Tips 100% in tact.  I had to laugh... God new my heart was to really connect with my son, along with truly wanting to be a good Stuart of our finances.  And in the waiting, God was able to give me both.